Which came first? Bird or Wire?

I have to admit I am timid about this.

My best gut feeling says don't do it.

But I need answers. I always seem kind of reckless in the pursuit of knowledge, so this will not be out of character.

But the law of unintended consequences is holding me back. "Think, Steve, you have no idea what this will lead to."

You know, like that Large Hadron Collider they talked about in Europe -- the professor that said if used, it would destroy the earth as we know it -- turn us all into one big black hole -- slowly eating away at the atoms and electrons that make us, us.

Or something even more real and closer to home. Remember in the Indiana Jones movie when they opened the Ark of the Covenant and suddenly the flesh started melting and falling off the body of everyone without a pure heart. Thank goodness Indiana Jones had a pure heart. Maybe that's why they chose him for the part.

Or, an even truer story from the annals of history. Pandora's box.

You see my predicament. You know what the question is. You've wanted to ask it yourself.

You see the birds. You see the wire.

Tell you what. Lets ask this at the same time. On 3.
Okay?
Good.

One
Two
Three

What did birds sit on before there were electric wires?

You see what happens don't you. That question leads to another and another and another until the whole world is filled with questions. You can't even pour yourself a cup of coffee because it, too, is full of questions.

When did the first bird sit on a wire?

Do the engineers design for the weight of the birds when they build the wire?

Why don't birds get hot? -- the wire heats up from the electricity flowing through it -- you've seen droopy wires stretched out on a hot summers day seeming to hang to the ground.

Can the birds hear the conversations going through a telephone wire?

Do they keep them secret?

Are they reading out thoughts.

Are they stealing our electricity?

Enough! I am overwhelmed. (actually I am just a little past whelmed, but that 's because of the medication I am on.)

Enough! Turn it off. Turn it off.

You egged me on. You led me to this. Don't run away and pretend you were not part of this.

Enough!

--steve buser